Another day. Another year.

      We've now been working on our adoption 15 months and been on the waitlist 9 months.  Each month the average wait to to get a child referred to you has increased so we have increased from an eight month average wait time when we began to now an 18 month average wait time.  Once we recieve our referral it is an average of 5 months before getting to bring our baby home.  So realistically it doesn't look like we'll be getting our daughter next year,  *Sigh*, but we're hopeful.  You just never know what to expect in the world of adoption.  We're in it for the long haul though so if we have to wait five years we'll do it.   I've come to a place of peace with that. 
      Our holidays have been VERY fun.  We've enjoyed both Daniels family and got to go to Missouri to be with my family for a weekend.  We had the flu all of last week but feel blessed that we got it during the time we had off of work so that we had time to fully recover before jumping back into work.  We've been hunting for a new vehicle since I totalled mine but still haven't found "the one".  Daniel and I are both tight-wads so it may be awhile before we can find one that we agree is a good deal.  We've had a very very blessed year and hope the next year treats everyone just as great!

Preferences and Life

     One question that has come up multiple times this month is what choices we have regarding our child. Before we get put on the wait list for a child we filled out a “child preference profile”. This is a couple pages long that allows us to state our “preferences”. In our case we requested a female child, 0-12 months, from Ethiopia. The rest of the preferences were regarding health. We were required to go through the list and mark willing to accept, not willing to accept, or willing to discuss. The list had things as menial as eczema to more involved conditions like HIV. There were things like missing limbs, cerebral palsy, on and on. Daniel and I spent a lot of time praying before filling out the list but for me, this was still a VERY difficult task. There were multiple conditions that I would check no to and then picture a child that I knew that I would have just denied. It’s one thing to say no to a condition but it feels like a whole different  thing to say no to a child you have known and loved. I was very blessed to have a patient at work who has a biological child with a medical condition and also an adopted child. She was able to understand what we were going through and give encouragement and great advice. We were also able to hear stories of others that the Lord had put on their hearts specific conditions/diseases. We were encouraged and reminded that the Lord would change our minds or open doors to treatment if there was a condition that was meant for us to accept. It is just SO strange to have to choose such things. In other news, Daniel and I have had more excitement than we’ve wished for over the past month and a half. First, our dog, Hailey got her tail caught in the door and had to have it amputated. We spent several weeks running back and forth to the vet, dispensing medications, and discouraging her from pulling at the bandages. It was more work than we could have ever imagined. A couple weeks after she was finally healed and back to normal, I was in a car accident. Luckily, I came away with only sore muscles and bruised legs. My car however was much worse off. It was considered a total loss by our insurance company. Lastly, we got to experience our first earthquake! Not what you expect in Oklahoma. It was quite surreal. Daniel and just sat and stared as our house visibly moved around us and our dishes clattered in the cabinets. We’re praying that there is no physical damage to the foundation of the house. It seems there is never a dull moment around here! I love seeing everyone elses photos so since I'm actually not blogging from work this time I'll add a few.   

This is our dog Hailey.  We adopted her almost two years ago.  She's the best dog in the world.  She REALLY hated having to wear the collar during the healing phase but it was the only thing we found that she couldnt get out of.  She's so darn cute I just have to add a couple more pictures of her.

                             Yes, she's big but just for the record I'm sitting on the ground here!

My poor Jeep. 

This is my Grandma, Frieda.  She has nothing to do with my post but this is one of my favorite pictures of her.  She turned a spunky 97 this fall!

October

    We did get our monthly update from our agency and our wait time has again increased by one month.  It feels like we're walking on a treadmill, never getting any closer to the end.  I've been working on updating paperwork but otherwise things are very uneventful.      
     One piece of advise we got early on in our adoption was to continue with normal life.  It sounds very basic but when you start the process you're life gets thrust into a tornado.  We were whirling with paperwork, phone calls, emails, appointments, etc.  All the to-do's were overwhelming and then a heavy emotional blanket covered over the top of it all.  There was no way for me to continue "life as normal" during the paperwork piece of our adoption but now that we're through that I understand the advice.    Waiting is eased by diving into life as we've known it.  This month "life as we know it" has been overly hectic.  Our dog, Hailey, got the tip of her tail caught in the car door.  It has been horrible trying to get it to heal.  After two weeks we had to have it amputated.  One more week and she'll get the stitches out.  We didn't realized how difficult it would be to keep her from messing with it. Otherwise we're just diving into niece/nephews football and soccer games, church, friends, and work, work, and more work. 
        Thanks for keeping up with us even though the past several months have been uneventful!  We appreciate you all so much!!!

      

It's already been a year?!!

No major changes this month. The wait time has remained the same as last month which is encouraging. I'm hoping it will level out and MAYBE even start dropping back down.  I've begun the process of updating paperwork. Luckily it's not all of the paperwork- just key documents. It's so hard to believe it's been over a year since we started the adoption process.
One piece of advise we got early on in our adoption was to continue with normal life.  It sounds very basic but when you start the process you're life gets thrust into a tornado.  We were whirling with paperwork, phone calls, emails, appointments, etc.  All the to-do's were overwhelming and then a heavy emotional blanket covered over the top of it all.  There was no way for me to continue "life as normal"   during the paperwork piece of our adoption but now that we're through the bulk of it I understand the advice.  Waiting is eased by diving into life as we've known it head first. 

Prince of Peace

Yikes! July is flying by.  As usual, I'm late getting a new post up.  It's months like this that make our wait for our baby girl a little less painful though.  If the rest of the year continues as fast as this summer has, another year will be here before we know it!  Changes continue in Ethiopia. We're thrilled to say very good changes.  They have increased from processing 5 orphans a day to 10.  Woot woot!  10 is still a far cry from where we began but the point is that the number is rising as we had hoped.  We also found out that MOWYCA will NOT be closing for the rainy season this year!  (Woot woot again with a fist pump this time)  This is great because it means Gladney can continue matching children with families thus moving our adoption along instead of being at a dead stop for a month or so.  The changes so far in Ethiopia have been hard for us because they have pushed our adoption time line MUCH longer than we had expected but over all I'm very happy and at peace with the changes.  As time goes on I've seen how all the changes work together to protect the children.  There is more paper work and processing is much lengthier but it's all to better assure that child trafficing cannot happen. 
God has continued to grow us, in so many ways, through this process.  This season of our lives Daniel and I have been focusing in on peace.  Gods peace is such a HUGE gift.  He's been so gracious to bless us with peace about our adoption and the timeline as it changes.    As well as the blessing of peace on us, we continually pray the blessing of Isaiah 54:13 over our future children.  "Your children will be taught by the Lord and great will be their peace."  This is our number one prayer.  As always, I ask you to join me in praying peace over our baby girl and her birth mother.  Times are challenging for Daniel and I but we're experiencing nothing compared to what the two of them will experience.  Thanks again for all your love and support and until next month, Peace be with you. 

Waiting

Waiting for an unknown date is so bizarre.  Things in Ethiopia have been changing  a lot lately which leaves us with no idea how long the wait will last.  When people ask about when we think we will get our little girl they look at me strange when I say I have no idea.  I'm always probed for "a general timeline" but that doesn't exist at this point.  Believe me, I want to know more than anyone what our timeline will be but I suppose this builds patience (or what manifests more like frustration most days).    I would love to know if our birth mother is pregnant yet, if our baby has been born, what the current situation is, etc. but that's all part of international adoption.  The answers to so many questions we won't know and many we will never get answers to.  The wait time averaged 8 months for quite some time but has now steadily climbed to 13 months and is expected to continue climbing.  Tuesday was our 2 month anniversary of being on "the list" but unfortunately since the wait time is climbing it feels like we never get any closer to the finish line of meeting our daughter.   I'll admit, I'm feeling defeated.

"It's a long hard road with a good good end"

         April is showering us with blessings and stress.  We've been wanting to go on vacation for quite some time but didn't feel like it was appropriate to spend money on vacation while trying to pay for the adoption.  We haven't been on a vacation since our honeymoon almost 3 years ago!  Well, the Lord provided us with an amazing opportunity to go to Jackson Hole, Wyoming!  We're SO excited to have time together to just relax and enjoy the beauty of nature!  It's not totally free but VERY close.  God is so good to grant us our desires.
          Last month we were told that Ethiopia would begin processing 5 cases per day instead of 40 but that never happened.  Well, the Dept of State is still saying it's going to happen.  (Feel free to keep up at their official website at http://adoption.state.gov ).  If this truely happens, it could make our adoption a 7 year process.  I'm very sceptical that this will happen but you have to be willing to accept that it could.  When people ask when we will get our baby my response gets to be 8 months to 7 years.  Oh, the joys of adoption. There is  a Waterdeep song that says "it's a long hard road, with a good good end."  I think that definately speaks to adoption.  We're just hoping our "good good end" is months instead of years. We feel very confident that it is going to be months but either way, it will be a VERY good good end.

Keep your head above water

What a month!!  The title of this post is a line from an Alexi Murdoch song that says "keep your head above water but don't forget to breathe" which is how I've felt much of the month.  Adoption is SUCH a crazy, crazy roller coaster.  I knew that in my head before we ever started the process but hadn't yet realized it in my heart.  VERY different animals.  After weeks of waiting, my fingerprints were approved!!  The technician had told me that she didn't think they would be accepted so I was shocked and very relieved to be approved!  There were also some VERY tense weeks in March regarding adoption as a whole from Ethiopia.  They announced that they would be dropping from processing 40 orphans a day to 5 per day!! This was going to likely push our adoption time line from months into the years category.  Luckily, that only lasted about a week before they began averaging 40 again.  Ethiopia has also appointed a new director of adoptions at MOWA (ministry of women's affairs).  Again, time will tell but our agency has reassured us that they feel like this is a positive thing.  The in country staff know her and think things will only change for the better.  After a month of feeling like we took one hit after another, we've had a full week with one blessing after another.  It feels like life is falling back into place.  The best news of all .......today, we were officially placed on the wait list for our baby girl!!!  Our joy is through the roof.

Roses vs. Mickey

We had our fingerprints taken at Dept.of Homeland Security.  As before, Daniels were perfect.  The technician actually gave him a "reading" of his prints.  Supposedly he has perfect rose shaped prints.  She went on to describe his personality perfectly from the shape of his prints.  My prints were less than perfect.  In fact I received a letter saying that my prints would have to be retaken in 3 weeks.  I cried.  Not because my fingerprints are sub-par but because we can't get approved until they get good prints on me.  They say that from the time your prints are taken, it will be up to 30 days until you receive your letter of approval from immigration which is the last piece of the puzzle for us to move forward with our adoption.  I heard the mailman Saturday morning and walked around the corner and stopped dead at the sight of a letter from CIS.  I ripped open the letter expecting our acceptance letter but instead seeing that my fingerprints weren't readable.  This is the point in which I cryed.  Our adoption wouldn't be moving forward that day like I had hoped when I saw the letter.  Our timeline got pushed back another 4-8 weeks.  From what I was told, the fact that I wash my hands so often combined with rolling instruments between my fingers all day long creates vertical lines through my prints so they can't be read properly.  They said if I sleep with my hands soaked in lotion and covered with gloves every night it might help.   Never did I think that my prayers would include a plea for my fingerprints.  Of course there are a lot of things that this adoption has added to my prayer list that anyone else would think were nuts outside of the situation.  So, for the next month I'll be looking like Mickey Mouse at bedtime.  Daniel thinks it's hilarious to see me in my pj's and white gloves.  Let me tell you, it's totally glamorous.

My Poor Pregnant Heart

I would like to begin with a financial update.  Many of you have been so generous with us and we thank you from the absolute bottom of our hearts.  We've shed many tears of thanks for the support we've received verbally and financially.  God has blessed us in ways we never dreamed.  At this point, we have $2,900  left to pay in legal fees and around $10,000 to pay in travel fees.  (Just as a reminder both Daniel and I will be making two trips to and from Ethiopia.  First to stand before the courts.  Second, for an embassy appointment and to bring our little girl home. My voice raises about 3 octaves every time I say "bringing her home" lol.)  Needless to say, we are SO thrilled to say that our $30,000 has dropped to $12,900!!!!!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!
I'm still in the process of reading up on hair and skin care.  It's been a real eye opener!  First off, I realized that all these years I've been misusing the word "nappy".  I now know that the word will never apply to my hair.  The actual definition is "tightly coiled hair in it's natural state with no chemical alterations".  On that note I just have to add the sentence it was used in in the urban dictionary.  "She is so brave to wear her nappy hair, unlike all those girls with jacked-up weave."  I found that hilarious for some reason.  Anyway,  I'm super excited and also super scared to try out all I've learned. 
Speaking of super excited and also super scared, I must say, my heart is taking a beating. I don't say "beating" in a necessarily bad way, I just mean the whirlpool of feeling 3 emotions extremely, all at one time, is insane.  My poor pregnant heart!  

GANNA!

Today is Christmas (Ganna) in Ethiopia!!  So, Merry Ganna to our baby girl!! Ethiopia's calender is based on the ancient Coptic calendar so new years was actually in September I believe.  In fact, due to the difference in calander's, it is actually 2003 in Ethiopia.  I wish I could say I totally understood their calander but am actually very uneducated about it.  I just know it has 13 months.....I think. lol
 We had a fantastic Christmas.  Simon, Caroline (Daniels sister) & kids were here from England for two weeks over Christmas.  We enjoyed getting to spend time with them and the rest of Daniels family. 
As for the adoption... As we speak our homestudy is in transit from our social worker here in OKC to our caseworker in TX for final notarization & licensure information!  Woot woot.  By next week it should be on it's way to CIS (immigration).  Immigration should take 4-10 weeks to process our request then we're waitlisted!!  I've never been so excited to get put on a wait list before.  With the holidays everything was moving a little sluggishly but I'm thrilled for everything to be moving along again.  Everyday is one day closer to our baby girl. 
Now that the majority of work is out of my hands I'm back to my mile long suggested reading list on adoption, attachment, bi/multi racial families, etc.  Next on my list is to do research on skin & haircare. I have a LOT of learning to do. I'm a little worried about my ability in this area but I sure am having fun learning and cant wait to give it a try!  (Maybe I should borrow a friends baby before our little one arrives) lol. Ethiopian moms beware. 
Well, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and lets pray that baby girl Morris comes home this year!!